I'll Miss You, Slut!

It has been ages since i last wrote something in this blog, AGES. And guess who got me into the blogging mood, my BFF who's going to canada this coming saturday. Happy sad face? =)= I've mentioned her quite a few times before in here, and i'm gonna start all over again, HAHA YES 'COS SHE'S THAT AWESOME. =p She was my first friend in college, the scene where we first met each other is still so vivid in my mind right now, haha. We were happily sesat-ly walking to the lecture theatre for our orientation, she said hi, i said hello. *BAM*, that was how we started talking to each other. See how powerful "hi' or "hello" can be now? ;D She's that kind of person who's very easy to be around with, she gave me that happy-go-lucky feeling after chatting for just a while. So yea, we clicked INSTANTANEOUSLY, i repeat, INSTANTANEOUSLY. On that day of orientation, she hasn't enrolled to AUP yet actually, so she asked me what subjects was i taking and all, and she registered for the same subjects as i did, the ones that were still available of course. That was what we thought, same subjects. =.=

The know-nothing-'bout-college me went to china for a vacation on the first week of college, haha i'm awesome i know. XD I missed the first three days of classes, i still remember chelle called me when i was packing, then we were like sampat-ing on facebook and what not, i mean what's new right, haha. She said, "i'm kinda scared of the first day of college 'cos you're not there", hahahaha! After i came back from china and went to college, she brought me to buy all the subject basic texts, the very naive us didn't know that there are actually different codes for the same subject, and so i bought the wrong chemistry book 'cos we thought we were classmates. LOL! PATHETICALLY, we didn't have any same subjects AT ALL, not even the SAME BREAKS, like what the hell! Better luck next time huh. =/ Anyway, that didn't stop us from being utter bimbos together, all the time, haha. =p I have no idea how you do that chelle, but YOU ARE ALWAYS SO CHEERFUL, like even if the sky falls down, most probably you'll bring us to eat one last time of macaroons or something. Okay that was a sucky example but yea, hehe. She treats her friends so generously all the time, during sleepovers or breakfast lunch dinner, she never counts every single cent with you. Oh yea did i mention, she lives in ampang and i live in pj, but at times she offered to fetch me back home from college, like how awesome is that! She used to say "come lar i fetch you home", sometimes people say that because they didn't know how to say no if you've asked, but i definitely don't think she forced herself to keep a straight face, she's that kind heehee. =D Oh yea, whenever we cracked a joke or acted like absolute fools, she just laughed her heart out and eventually all of us would be laughing non-stop, then she would comment on someone laughing like a chimpanzee and all that. Evilllll, hahahaha.

I guess the main reason why people like to be around her is because she's so down to earth, no dramas and all that jazz, all you'll feel is sheer fun and positive energy when she's around, that's how i feel at least, haha. She can laugh at the same thing for like over a few hours, haha amazing. =p Remember the "syasya deng hui ge fai" incident? EPIC! I feel so reluctant for her to leave because she won't be coming back until next year's july, and i'll be leaving to US in next year's august, not much time to hang out anymore. =( I'll miss having fun with you sister! Seriously, i'm gonna miss you SO MUCH, but nahhh, i'll miss your iphone more, HAHA WHAT IN THE WORLD. *trying to cover up my vulnerability* =/ Forgive me for getting all sentimental here, just so you know, i feel so grateful to have you as my friend, you always make me feel like i should be a better and happier person, THANK YOU! =D *hugs* Btw i'm trying not to tear here.

the awezummm "M"s?? like what?? i totally made that up, like five minutes ago, hahaha.

the figure-out-the-name-yourself villain is so jealous of the puss-in-boots-wannabe, LOL. ;D

Take care of yourself in canada slut! Please speak good french over there and don't memalukan your fellow malaysians here, er herm. =p Also, don't simply make babies with the drop dead gorgeous mat salleh over there, i know you want to so badly. LOL!!! Take care chelle. =)

P/S: No gong cha for you for one whole year, sucks to be you HAHAHA!!! =p

Loveeees. <3

Life Has Become Immeasurably Better

since i have known this bunch of awesome people. =)

OMG it has been more than two months since i last updated my blog, and finally, i have something to say, today. ;) This whole belated birthday surprise thing was so overwhelming that you guys left me speechless, literally, lol. Words fail me. The contemplation, the effort, the presents, the cards, the words, the people, the moments, i'm appreciative of the impact these things have on my life. =D The defnition of "friends" for me is: people i can't live without. Thank you win yen, chun kit, alicia, vi-vian, shi yi, kai xiang, diing yienn, hui teng, jia zhen, jia jue and zhi min for the present, thank you so so so much, i absolutely love it! <3 I can foresee, it will be the hardest thing ever for me to leave you guys behind when i go to the states. Although i'll just be there for three years, or slightly longer, i'll miss you guys every day and night! =/ We may be separated by distance, but never at heart.

I would like to talk a bit about college. At first i thought, the dreaded first week of college has finally arrived, there were lots of apprehensions in me. New environment, new subjects, new people, no more girl guides, no more school uniform, no more rigid rules etc. Soon after, i feel extremely blessed to have met a new circle of good friends, we just clicked right away! Especially syasya and both of the michelle lims, BFF! ;D Brandon bro, i didn't forget to mention you lar, hahaha! XD I feel a lot happier in college, partly because i have less obligations right now, thus less stress. Friends and i have outings quite frequently, badminton and swimming, boardgames and bowling, movies and shopping, karaoke and dances, AND A WHOLE LOT MORE, LOL. Despite the fact that we go out so often, we managed to prioritize what's important to us, WE ARE NOT SPENDTHRIFTS BTW, haha. =p

不惜歌者苦，但伤知音稀？不会啊。=)

P/S: Aspetterò. Prometto.

I Need

a leap of faith.

someone to tell me that i'm wrong.

'Cos i'd rather be hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.

Because The Things You're Scared Of

are usually the most worthwhile. ;)

I think it happens to everyone as they grow up, you find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. And so you keep the great memories but find yourself moving on. That's what i'm scared of. But it's perfectly normal. If you think about it, your favourite memories, the most important moments...were you alone? Life's better with company. ;D Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though it's one day further from the last time we saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time we will. =)

Sooo...going into second week of college, so far so good i guess. My favourite classes would be english and sociology. =D Today's english class was full of laughters, just because i got the topic "premarital sex" for my thesis statement. =.= OH EMM GEE LOR. My least favourite class would be calculus. =( If you're close to me, or is a frequent reader of my blog, you would have known that I HATE ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS. I get very easily agitated by math questions that i couldn't solve. I'm annoyed at my stupidity and my lack of logic that everyone else on earth seemed to have. Then i would get disheartened and proceed to stumble in self-pity. HUGE SIGH. ='( I was never good with numbers, and of course still not good with it now. The only thing that exerts a calming effect over me would be telling myself "if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it's stupid". I may not be a genius, but i gotta tell myself each and everyday that I AM NOT STUPID. Do more math questions marissa. =.=

The reason i'm updating my blog here is because i read Listen's blog the other day. He said and i quote "朋友都纷纷开学了，不然就是在打工，我好想找个朋友出来喝个茶聊个天，至少有一点新鲜的感觉。朋友啊，我想念你们。常常去看你们的部落格，大多数的你们已经没有以往的动力写部落格了吧。我想部落格是一个最能够让别人了解你关心你的地方。" I miss you too my friend! We used to do so many things together, genting trip, movies, driving tests and you crashing my class party, LOL. I've neglected my blog for quite some time, if you're here, you either have nothing better to do, or you STILL have nothing better to do, haha. =p Just joking, some of the people who visit my blog CARE about what's going on with my life and so forth, i appreciate it. =) Btw, if you see me publishing sad and depressing posts, i'm not sad. I'm just pensive, i'm sure that you've had one of those days when nothing helps to lighten your mood at all. So yea, maybe not particularly cheerful, not very decent writing, but at least it made me feel better.

People in the pictures below, i adore you, you awesomely crazily wonderfully amazingly beautiful and special yet weird but unique individual. XD







P/S: I miss the times when ms. ong reminds me over and over and over again in order for me to complete my math model test papers. =/ And thank you readers for putting up with my incoherent bits and pieces.

The Key To Happiness

is excitement for the future. ;)

It was my first day of college today, how was it? Hmm...KINDA disastrous, LOL! Time for me to settle down after brunei and china trips, post spm outings and all, study mode switched on. =p I'm surprised by the fact that i actually go for january intake, cos' i was like particularly ANTI january intake, haha. XD But after all the counsellings, i've changed my mind. Btw, if you wanna go to brunei, just give me a call and i can be your tour guide, lol! It's such a small country, went there with family to attend a beachside countdown party, released 孔明灯 on 1.1.11, nice experience though, our family togetherness is awesome. =) Moving on to china, i went to 桂林，广西 for six days，my ancestors were from there! It was TREMENDOUSLYCRAZILYEXTREMELY COLD, -1 degree celcius OMG! My nose nearly fell off. =.= My advice, don't ever go to china during january, bring maggi hotcups and milo fuze 3 in 1 whenever you go to china, you'll regret if you don't follow my advice, haha! =p One thing i love about china is that EVERYONE knows how to pronounce my surname correctly, you must be saying "what the hell? =.=", but seriously lor. Okay i'm not going any further regarding my trips.

Sooo, being a freshie in college isn't fun. My closest friend in college would be michelle, we met each other during orientation, and then we just CLICKED right away. =D She's really sweet and nice, i remember when we had lunch in mcd during orientation, something EXTREMELY HILARIOUS happened, i won't ever forget that, LOL! Also, she ordered beef burger and before she started eating, she asked me "do you eat beef?", i said no and she was like "i'm sorry i'm sorry!", i'm totally fine with people who eat beef, but she was just being really polite. =) She even called me to wish me safe in china when i was packing, brought me to buy books for certain classes after i got back in malaysia, love you lots michelle! =D Too bad that we are in different sections of the subjects. =( Made friends with kiat leng and weng hoh too, we'll see how things go on. =) I got really lost in college today, walking up and down the stairs looking for my classroom, gosh! =.= I'm going to and fro school by ktm, the whole journey is really tiring, gotta get used to it. My first day was terrible, but fortunately i met this guy called ryan at the bus station, he directed me onto the right bus and so forth, it was really nice of him, will definitely keep in touch. And thanks to my mom who asked me to get down at pantai dalam station, which was SO WRONG, i was supposed to get down at petaling station, gosh! I got so lost in pantai dalam, it's a malay residential area, people were staring at me wondering what the hell was i doing there, cos' i was the only chinese and basically i had no reason to be there. =.= Then it was raining cats and dogs, how great. I teared when it started raining, a mixture of frustration, feeling ill because of the abrupt weather change between china and malaysia, hungry, lost, alone, exhausted, and the "NOT AGAIN!" sentiment. I got lost in kl the other day, similar situation, alone, inclement weather, hungry, no one was helpful in kl, guards in kl sentral are PLAIN RUDE. I was stranded in plaza sentral, working people with ties and heels staring at me wondering, what is this girl doing here. WAITING FOR THE RAIN TO STOP LAR DUH. =/ Afterall, all these are good experiences, to be more independent, to be more prepared when i further my studies in US. Have you guys watched 3 idiots before? It's a very meaningful movie, i'll just whisper "all is well" to myself everytime i feel like breaking down, it works. ;)

I've experienced lots of new stuffs after spm, drove home alone when the roads were nearly flooded, drove blindly to sri hartamas and mont kiara, scratched my car door at the basement parking of plaza mont kiara, LOL! Vi-vian and diing yienn witnessed that, LAUGH DIE US weih. =.= I'm driving a hyundai sonata btw, i feel so insecure driving this car, it's big, it's powerful, and i'm a 17-year-old female probationer driver, you link them together and visualize what can possibly happen or what could have happened, haha! XD Another thing, i'm like a complete and utter moron when it comes to directions, so god bless me.

I miss high school a lot! I miss girl guides the most. I miss running up and down the stairways during recess, with kertas cadangan aktiviti in my hands. I miss going back to 5S9 every morning, sitting next to alicia, laming with win yen and all. I miss conversing with friends in mandarin. Now i gotta wake up every morning and stand in front of my closet asking, what to wear ah? Gosh...XD No more sitting at the same place for the whole day, no more cheap food at the canteen, no more setting my alarm to 5.50am everyday. But i believe that i'll get used to college life in no time. I'm sure that things will fall in place eventually. I can't wait till the day when taylor's students start school, most of my close friends are in there, must meet up during breaks! But no matter how happening my college life is going to be, high school will forever and always be the best part of my life. High school has shaped me as a person and my very existence, i've became a better person through high school. Improved leadership, less selfish, more respectful, more mature, less vulnerable. In retrospect, i've really gone through A LOT in high school, the most agonizing would be the departure of my grandmother, i treasure my friends and family more than ever now. Okay i should stop recapping, too much to say, hehe. Anyhow, i will never forget catholic high school and the things that i've learnt from there. Stepping on the grounds of my alma mater feels overwhelmingly good! FANFREAKINGTASTIC. ;D

总之，无论我结识了多少个新朋友，以下相片里的人，以及我和他们一起经历的事与物，将永远铭记在心里。

对你们，我只有四个字可以形容：

无可取代　=D

Here we are now,

Everything is about to change,

We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday,

A chapter ending but the stories have just begun,

A page is turning for everyone.

So i'm moving on,

Letting go,

Holding on to tomorrow,

I've always got the memories,

While i'm finding out who i'm gonna be,

We might be apart but i hope you always know,

You'll be with me wherever i go.

So excited i can barely even catch my breath,

We have each other to lean on for the road ahead,

This happy ending is the start of all our dreams,

And i know your heart is with me.

We'll never fade away. =)

Spontaneity

Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay.

Sometimes, change may not be what we want.

Sometimes, change is exactly what we need.

And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do.

But sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible.

Sometimes, change is too much to bear.

But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

P/S: I don't feel right at this very moment, and no, it's not PMS.

I Am A Chinese Malaysian

not a Malaysian Chinese. ;)

LOL! I am SUCH an evil sister....that's my bro! HAHA! I made him do that two years ago. XD

It's now three days past Merdeka, I used to see cars putting that little Jalur Gemilang flag up on the car rooves. But no, I didn't see that this time. Worse still, I didn't see that for the past few years as well. When I was a kid, the scene usually fills me with hope, that Malaysians, despite our diversity, are indeed capable of peaceful and harmonious coexistence. It failed to lift my spirits this time. We've been told of the 1Malaysia concept, but I think we don't need to be told to be united. We've come such a long way -- 53 years that it should already be established in our hearts and minds that we ARE united. Unfortunately, you can still see racial discrimination and polarization. There is still this ethnocentric view that the Malays are the dominant group and their rights must be protected, and non-Malays are forever the outsiders. Sejarah exam was held today, and yes, I know very well what Keluhuran Perlembagaan is. I recite that at every single official school assembly. If anyone is to be blamed for highlighting and widening the racial divide among Malaysians, it is the politicians who do so for their own selfish ends and the handful of little Napoleans in the civil service.

It is splendid and indeed a fascinating sight watching Indians eating with chopsticks, or my Chinese friends and I eating roti canai + DHAL CURRY =DDD with hands. It is heartwarming to see all three races who are of different religions and creed mingle with one another without the slightest hint of awkwardness or apprehension when in each other's presence. I feel sad thinking of how hard our forefathers have worked to build our beautiful nation of people, cultures and heritage only to see its progress and development being threatened by male donkeys (jackass). For the 1Malaysia concept to succeed, I think the government should stop with the race politics. It's exhausting, seriously. We grew up with application forms asking us to tick our race. We should stop depicting a negative image of the other races, stop thinking about "us" and "them" and focus on "we" and "our". No one should be made uncomfortable in their own home. I am neither criticizing Malaysia nor complaining about Malaysia. I just want Malaysians to know that we are free from natural disasters, we have a place to stay, food to eat, and most importantly, education. We are much more fortunate than people who live in poverty, like people in some third world countries.

身为90年代出生的年轻人，8月31日这天对我来说只不过是一天假期。我不能拼凑历史的碎片，因为我所知道的历史，仅仅是从课本读回来的。我没有经历过第二次世界大战，而日本军，英国殖民，共产党。。。一切都任凭我想象，选择我所要相信的。我透过婆婆及爸爸的口述，摸索着50年前的事迹。我爸爸是个超级亲中国的人，他从来都不会为"Negaraku"肃立，反而会为《义勇军进行曲》肃立。当我在拼命为李宗伟喊加油时，他却在我背后拼命为林丹喊加油。=.= 我婆婆逝世时享年79岁，她是一位走过历史、见证过这片土地成长记忆的老人家。每当她向我述说日军侵马，她剪光头躲在割胶园，每天吃番薯或木薯，更曾亲自目睹日军不分男女老少虐待人民的残暴行为时，我都听得津津乐道。她也跟我述说过五一三事件，当时他们男的就组队巡逻，总之几个星期都过着心惊胆战的日子。可见得我们这些9字辈的年轻人是多么幸运。一个马来西亚的精神，就只有喊口号吗？不管怎样都好，无论以后我去到世界的哪一个角落，我都会骄傲地说，我来自马来西亚。

我是马来西亚人，可是不是马来人。我是华人，可是不是中国人。

我爱马来西亚，只因为 -- 家，在马来西亚。=)